Posted: 05/26/11 | may 26th, 2011
This is a guest publish by Ant, one half of positive world Travel.
Elise as well as I fight. Mycket.
It’s normally about petty things that don’t truly matter, however in the warm of the moment, often even the smallest problems get blown out of proportion.
It’s the silly stuff, like where we must go next or what we must see. We suggest about food a lot, too. Elise is always hungry as well as needs to eat throughout the day, whereas I can last all the time on one huge meal.
And our filming frequently triggers disagreements; we don’t always share the exact same “vision.”
Spending 24 hours a day, seven days a week with somebody is bound to take its toll at some point or another. Det är normalt. In all honesty, I would be a lot more anxious about our connection if we didn’t fight after costs this much time together.
Our fights generally happen on travel days, when one of us is either tired, hungry (mostly Elise!), or fed up with the day. traveling 18–24 hours on buses, trains, or planes barely brings the very best out in anyone. The snapping begins over something trivial (like what taxi to catch), as well as before you understand it we’re battling about exactly how Elise never listens or exactly how I never comprehend her feelings.
One traditional fight that must have earned us a area on Jerry Springer occurred when we were traveling from Kathmandu to Chitwan in Nepal. Chitwan is only 150km away from Nepal’s capital, however the road conditions are truly poor, so we were on a cramped minibus for about eight hours.
As soon as we got off the bus, Elise started complaining about exactly how she had a sore neck as well as just needed a sleep as well as a shower. I, on the other hand, was feeling quite good. The movement sickness tablets I had taken knocked me out during the trip, as well as I had handled to get hold of some sleep on the bus.
That’s when the bickering started.
We snapped at each other about the very best method to reach our guesthouse, what guesthouse we were going to stay at, as well as exactly how long we would be staying there. We bickered the whole time up until we discovered a location to stay. As soon as we were in our room, things got worse. The battling ultimately escalated up until I went for a walk as well as Elise had a nap.
When I came back from my walk, the fight started again. this time around it was about exactly how I never put my toothbrush or get in touch with lens option in the ideal area as well as exactly how Elise can never keep in mind where she keeps things in her backpack.
The fight continued for one more a number of minutes, as well as we began to pick on problems absolutely unrelated to the original topic. When does a fight ever stay on topic anyway? You always end up battling about irrelevant issues. You state things you’ll regret later as well as don’t even truly indicate in the very first place.
With tears in Elise’s eyes as well as I so exhausted by the whole argument, we had to make a choice: either continue battling or come to our senses.
I told Elise we both needed to calm down as well as look at what we were battling about. What was the root of the argument? nothing however a bumpy bus ride.
I believe Elise was just as relieved as I was to end the fight, as well as we ended up speaking about methods we can resolve these conflicts as well as stop them from happening in the future.
How to resolve Conflicts
The thing with battling on the road is that the arguments handle a different type than the fights you have at home. At home, there are distractions like buddies as well as work to keep your mind off the argument.
When traveling, however, there’s no escape. You have to talk about exactly how you feel or what’s bothering you as well as come to a resolution.
What works truly well for us is having a “word.” One word that you can both utilize if you believe the other person is choosing a fight for the benefit of it. You both have to such as this agreement. You can’t abuse the word as well as state it whenever you want just to shut your partner up. It has to work for both of you.
This technique has truly saved us as well as prevented a great deal of fights from starting. For instance, if Elise is complaining about exactly how long we’ve been walking or exactly how hungry she is, it has a tendency to get on my nerves. I’ll make comments back to her that can be a bit heated, as well as Elise will just utilize the word. It snaps me directly back into line.
Even though it may noise silly to act so swiftly on one bit word, it truly does assist us to stop circumstances from spiraling out of control. I recognize that what I’m stating is unnecessary. issue solved. fight avoided. delighted days.
Honesty is one more crucial part of a connection that can assist resolve conflicts. Not being terrified to reveal exactly how you feel is so crucial during an argument. You have to be able to listen till varandras synvinkel och tar både kritik och rekommendationer till hjärtat.
Argument är inte annorlunda än en sjukdom, liksom förebyggande är alltid mycket bättre än ett botemedel.
Efter 16 månader på vägen har vi som par ganska mycket räknat ut exakt hur man kan förhindra de större argumenten. Vi bicker fortfarande mycket, men det är aldrig något så allvarligt som kampen i Nepal. Vi är nu medvetna om vad som kan sätta varandra och alltid försöka minska dessa handlingar innan de eskalerar ur kontroll.
Att resa låter oss arbeta tillsammans under stressande omständigheter och fixa problem, men det gör det också möjligt för oss att upptäcka exakt hur vi ska stoppa argument. Det senare är det svåraste med att resa som ett par överlägset, men jag tror att vi långsamt behärskar det.
Anthony är hälften av den dynamiska duon från positiva världsresor.
relaterade artiklar
Rese rekommendationer från resande par
Att hålla anslutningen stimulera till livet på vägen
Värdet av personlig tid
Varför ett 50 -årigt par erbjöd allt för att resa världen
Boka din resa: logistiska idéer såväl som tricks
Boka din flygning
Hitta en billig flygning genom att använda Skyscanner. Det är min föredragna bläddringsmotor eftersom den söker på webbplatser såväl som flygbolag runt om i världen så att du alltid förstår att ingen sten lämnas omvänd.
Boka ditt boende
Du kan boka ditt vandrarhem med Hostelworld. Om du vill stanna någon annanstans än ett vandrarhem, använd Booking.com eftersom de konsekvent returnerar de billigaste priserna för pensionat och hotell.
Misslyckas inte med att komma ihåg reseförsäkring
Reseförsäkringsskydd kommer att säkra dig mot sjukdom, skada, stöld och avbokningar. Det är detaljerad säkerhet i situationen, allt går fel. Jag åker aldrig på en resa utan den eftersom jag har varit tvungen att använda det många gånger tidigare. Mitt föredragna företag som erbjuder den allra bästa tjänsten och värdet är:
SafetyWing (bäst för alla)
Försäkra min resa (för de över 70)
Medjet (för extra evakueringstäckning)
Redo att boka din resa?
Kolla in min resurssida för det allra bästa företaget att använda när du reser. Jag listar alla de jag använder när jag reser. De är de allra bästa i klassen liksom du inte kan gå fel med att använda dem på din resa.